"There shall be music and flowers and joy in your home and peace and love in your heart."

These are the words that were spoken to me by the Lord, through Patriarch Olsen, when I was 15 years old.  They have always been a powerful reminder to me of the home I needed to create.  Of course, over the years and even today, there is discord.  But as I sit here at my computer, checking email and the dreaded Facebook...I can hear Grant singing. There has always been music in our home.  Indeed, all of our children LOVE music.  What a blessing their talents have been to our family, as well as to others.  Lately I have been asking Grant if there is a juke box playing in his head.  He sings all kinds of things...in random order.  Old songs and new. Country and Hymns. Rap and Hip Hop...obviously that juke box is on the shuffle mode.  I am certainly going to miss his singing one day...I try not to think about life as an "empty nester"...Not looking forward to that day.  In the meantime, I will soak up his positive energy and pray that music will always lift, motivate and inspire him, as well as our other kids.

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst
This world can’t satisfy?
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?

---Blessings--- 

I loved this song the minute I heard it. I am sure I'm not unique in that I have had a few disappointments in my life...actually some pretty significant ones. However, as I have grown and matured, I have seen the "blessings" that have come from some of the struggles.  One "moment" in my life that seems to have affected me for as long as I can remember, is my parent's divorce.  I am 50...holy cow that's a lot of years:)...and I still feel the affects of the decision made by others so, so many years ago.  It's not that I live in the past, I just know that the scars remain.  I can still vividly remember a boyfriend, with all the tact he could muster, saying to a sensitive 18 year old me, "because your parents are divorced, is that an option for you?"  I was sad and crushed.  Most likely, and in part because I was young and immature, that question was the undoing of our relationship.  Because my parents were divorced I had decided early on that I would do all in my power NOT to ever inflict that kind of pain onto others. So, that disappointment really taught me a lot about relationships and what was important to look for in a spouse.  A huge blessing which came from a painful experience.  

Several years ago Bill was being "sought after" by FedEx in Memphis, TN.  He'd interviewed and our entire family was booked and ready to fly out to look for houses...only to be told a day or two before we were to leave, that they had decided to hire someone "internally".  It was a major disappointment.  We were stunned.  But as we had learned to do, we soldiered on.  A few weeks later Bill interviewed for a job locally with EDS.  The opportunity came out of nowhere.  It was a much better opportunity than FedEx.  A huge blessing came after a major disappointment. 

Heavenly Father really is in control.  He knows everything and I need to remind myself of that often.  I am still trying to figure out the blessings or "mercies" from my mom passing away so young and when she was finally loving her life here in Texas...that is a puzzle for sure.  But again, Heavenly Father knows what he is doing.  

I hope I can continue to remember that "the trials of this life, the rain, the storms, the hardest nights, are our mercies in disguise."  One day all of these things will make sense.

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. 
-kenji miyazawa

I read this on a blog I follow.  And I LOVE it! Life is good, but occasionally we run into pain.  I hope to remember these words when those painful times come...and they will.  They always do.

I miss this little girl today. A lot.

Living so far away from her is for the birds! At this point, we won't see her until the summer.  That's just too darn long. I(we) am trying to figure a way to visit her and bother her parents before then.  We'll see if I(we) am successful.

Ok, so I am totally plagiarizing...I took the following quote from a blog I read because it is exactly how I feel...it brought tears to my eyes when I read it...it spoke truth...

"I don't know where I will be in 10 years.  

I know that wherever I am, as long as Bill (the writer wrote her husband's name here) is by my side

and my children still love me- It will all be right."

 

Bill and I often think ahead a bit and ponder on where we will be and what our lives will look like a few years down the road.  We do hope to retire someday and serve another mission for the church...we'd like to be living closer to our children and grand child(ren) and travel to a ton of new places.  We also wonder what the lives of our children will look like in a few years.  What career paths they will take and what personal choices they will make.  Will everything look as I (we) have envisioned them?  Perhaps things will look a little different in the years to come, perhaps not.  But at the end of the day, as long as Bill and I are beside one another and our children love us, then life will be good. 

 We drove 5 hours from Dallas to Galveston for our Disney Cruise!  We stayed a night in a hotel and had hoped to eat at this great restaurant.  It was a long wait, so we went down the road and had us some Bubba Gump's!

 New Year's Eve on the Disney Wonder! Again with this darling family.

 And again with these precious kids of ours!

 I was a bit lame in the photo taking department.  I always think I take a ton, and my kids are certain I do, but then we get home and I find out that I missed a bunch of photo ops:(  Our angel had a different Disney outfit for every day of the cruise.  Of course I did not get a picture of each outfit.  Here is our precious Minnie Mouse.

 Minnie with Aunt Christine

 And THIS is how we babysit:)  She was a joy to watch!

 Sibling love.  These kids sure miss each other while they are apart at different universities. They soak each other up when they are together.  I love that they are so close!

 Addie had her picture taken with several princesses...here she is with Frozen's Anna.

 I love the ship's deck at night.  It was peaceful.

 Grandpa loves his Addie.  She was Snow White this day.

 We didn't have great weather on the cruise.  This day was our Cozumel day...Grandma and Addie hung out on the ship while everyone else went to the beach and snorkeling.  After they got back, Addie put on her darling owl suit and hit the splash pool.  She loves water, so it was a hit!

 Although we didn't have the best weather on this cruise, it was great being together! We all love cruising and we love Disney...a win-win. Having Addie with us made it even better.  She got a ton of attention...she was great!  The last day coming back from Cozumel, the seas were terrible!  William and I both had to wear wrist bands to help with motion sickness.  I ate 2 green apples, as was advised by a crew member to help with sea sickness.  The adult pool was drained because the water was coming out.  The other pools were closed.  It was crazy! We were an awesome team at all kinds of trivia: general, Disney, music.  We rocked! If we played all together we were a force.  It was fun!

We took advantage of the beautiful sky outside our balcony. 

 I love this man.

 Grant was so done with pictures...can you tell.  The same smirk in both of these.

Grant said he wanted to kiss a princess on the ship...boom. Done!

 We had a good friend take some pictures of Addie in her home studio.

 She is precious! We ADORE her!

 She was so good too!  She is the apple of our eye!

 After Addie's pictures, we went to a nearby park and took some family shots. It was FREEZING! But because we are good, you can't tell. I must say, I love my family...every last one of them!

 And how adorable is this little family? Could they be any cuter??? Look at that little cherub!

And, of course we needed a "kid" picture.  Grant just cracks us up.  We are so grateful for each of our "kids".  How did we get so lucky?  They are the center of our world!